Negativity

Saturday was my birthday and to say I had a blast would be an understatement. Got a couple of bruises, broke nails, scraped knees and pictures that speak a thousand words but even in the midst of such great times negativity reared it's head.

My cake from my friend, lol!

“Negativity is totally unnatural. It is a psychic pollutant, and there is a deep link between the poisoning and destruction of nature and the vast negativity that has accumulated in the collective human psyche. No other life-form on the planet knows negativity, only humans, just as no other life-form violates and poisons the Earth that sustains it. Have you ever seen an unhappy flower or a stressed oak tree? Have you some across a depressed dolphin, a frog that has a problem with self-esteem, a cat that cannot relax, or a bird that carries hatred and resentment? The only animals that may occasionally experience something akin to negativity or show signs of neurotic behavior are those that live in close contact with humans and so link into the humans mind and its insanity.” 

― Eckhart Tolle

While out to lunch yesterday, someone I look up to like a big Sister said "the true testament to a friendship, especially where females are concerned, is how you react when you two grow apart or take different paths in life or experience a rift. If you find it easy to rain on my parade when you do talk to me or tell anyone who will listen negative things/secrets about me, we were never friends." Sad to have to find out that way but there's a lot of truth in what she said. 

You have to use your discernment. It will never fail you! Initially When things for me started to change I felt sad but then I learned of secret feelings, private thoughts shared and plans to bring pain and harm to me, whether it be emotionally, mentally or physically I became disturbed! For me it was a sincere moment of clarity. I had been feeling like a tornado came into my life and tossed everything about me and my world in the air. The more I grasped for what I thought belonged to me and added normalcy,  the more things seemed to stay in the air swirling around my head, metaphorically speaking. 

As life would have it all pieces held captured by that tornado are and have been falling into place. Some of those items and people went away with the storm and I am thankful! I'm in a great space right now and the insane thing about is, I could've done away with those things and people a long time ago had I listened to my gut instinct. Not really sure why I thought I could go against the inevitable or that I could make things better "If I _______." <Fill in the blank with countless verbs! 

It takes too much energy to be and stay mad at someone. Grudges aren't healthy! Life truly is short! When I say "I love you," I mean it! Doesn't matter if we're friends, family or intimately friends and to a certain extent/fault, maybe I love too hard.

"Misery loves company" is one of the truest statements ever said. The problem with miserable people is that they can't seem to grasp the concept that the problem lies within them. It's not anyone else fault that you are unhappy but your own! You lying on someone, tearing other people down and doing devious acts will not soothe whatever is festering inside of you. You can only wrong people or be negative for so long before you find yourself alone. 

I love my support system. Aside from keeping me doubled over laughing, they are honest when need be, challenge and pray with/for me! No relationship is ever perfect but I am thankful for them. Can't worry about those people who are no longer a part of my life. I wish no harm on them but understand their seasons in my life are over and they cannot move forward with me in my life's journey. Nor will there be room for them somewhere down the road. 

Tricks or Truth?

There are countless movies where a person listens to their friends coerce them into playing jedi mind tricks to get the girl/guy of their dreams. How to manipulate the scenario in your favor and how to react when things don't go according to plan. Why do we lie to ourselves and our friends?

Here's a thought, if God wanted you to know how the opposite sex works, wouldn't he have made you a man instead of a woman and vice versa? And if you have so much advice to give, why are you single or unhappily in a relationship? Why are you so bored that you are taking up so much of your time to thrust me into a relationship? Hear me out though, if you genuinely want to see me happy and know that I'll be a great compliment to someone's life... I appreciate it but I am not a charity case, my time simply has not come.

To watch these type of scenarios play out in a movie are hilarious but when people try out these ideas in real life, shit truly gets real!!! Don't keep watching these movies like Two Can Play This Game or Sex In The City and believe that you can trick someone into falling in love with you and or have your "happily ever after" following you causing a person to block your number, go the other way when they see you or pushing them so far you push them into someone else's grasp!

Something that seems to be lacking these days is the TRUTH. If you don't like something speak up! If you don't feel a connection, go with your gut feeling and for the love of everything breathing, STOP using people for what they have to compensate for them not being THE ideal person or for YOUR previous history with someone else that has you walking around like Bitter Betty/Moody Marvin.

Lack of truth is why we have thousands of men wearing sagging magnums and injuring women during foreplay because the women prior didn't honestly tell you that your performance was horrible (with tact) but it could also be your ego (that's a different blog). Lack of truth and pride in one's self has both sexes out here lying about who they are and what they have. Lack of truth is causing women to walk outside dressed like a video model and she's built like a queen size mattress. (direct yourself to youtube and watch ICES BROWN)

Not all advice is bad though. I think it is important to have friends or family members of the opposite sex around you to help you decipher when someone is not genuine. We as women pick up on things you men don't see and know and vice versa. I am not saying their vote trumps your feelings and thoughts about that person but at least listen and digest what those who love you are saying.

Some things aren't gray they are truly black and white. As much as friends and family can help, they can do harm as well. Your relationship should not be an open topic each and every time something is going on. Brag too much and you'll find someone drifting into your life with that green eyed monster known as jealousy. Complain too much and you'll find your friends and family sick of y'all and acting really funky towards your significant other.

I think everyone deserves to find true happiness and that definition of happiness is not confined to a relationship. However, I think it's important to always be honest. No one guy can speak for EVERY guy and the same applies to women. Just remember, all things done in the dark come to the light!