Broken Glass

Let's use a clear glass from your cupboard as the example. If that glass was to accidentally fall and break you may or may not be able to salvage it. It's highly likely you won't be able to though. You can in fact glue back the bigger pieces but it will never be the same. Here are the reasons why:

1. It's humanly impossible to gather every single piece and shard and glue them back in exactly the manner the glass was before the accident. 
2. Even when glued back together you run the risk of losing the contents in the glass through a leak.
3. The glass could come apart again, creating a bigger mess if it contained a liquid.
4. You could get cut on an unforeseen sharp edge. 
5. Just looking at it, it looks totally different because of the dried glue. 
6. You have to be extra careful when washing it. 
7. It's simply not worth it and just needs to be discarded.

Now let's replace that glass with friendships and relationships. In life sometimes our bonds with people are shattered just like that glass. Sometimes we instantly go to pull out the metaphorical glue of resolve which could be acknowledgement or an apology or space. Even when "glued" back together can things ever be the same? Positively or negatively?

I find that people although they say they forgive you or you forgive them but tend to hold onto the feelings they had that either led to the breakdown or surfaced during that broken moment. Only to come back together and forever hold onto it and let it cut them like a wayward piece of glass until they feel like cutting you. Thus creating a totally different issue.

In the amount of time that you left the friendship or relationship idle you changed.... Hopefully, you did for the better! This incident now has you posing all types of questions about that person, your bond, your moments shared and the list can go on. In no way shape or form am I saying when you forgive, you should forget but you never want to be in that position again because it means you didn't learn the lesson. Outside of God, the master is sometimes also the student. You're never to wise to stop learning.

I am not a fan of metaphorical "shards" of life. The tiny pieces and slivers of glass that remain long after the glass has either been repaired or replaced. Those reminders that pierce you and catch you off guard. As blasé as I can be.... I surely have hot buttons, sensitive issues and feelings. As durable as that glass can be, it can surely can be broken. I'll definitely apologize when I know I have been wrong but I won't stand to be constantly ridiculed or made to feel less by someone else's standards or constantly reminded of something from my past.

Life and death surely lie in the tongue. What are you saying with your mouth that could be tearing someone else down? What are you repeating that could add strife to someones life? What are you subconsciously holding onto and lashing out at others about? Do you even recognize you're doing it? Are you even taking it out on the correct person?

At almost 30 I'm still learning that you can love someone with your whole heart and still hurt them or be hurt by them but when do you truly know it's time to try and stop repairing? Life is truly short.

You say he just a friend?

Science tells us that we are all uniquely composed of genetics and traits. No two people are exactly alike. This can also be said about friendships. Even if I am the common denominator between 2 separate friendships, neither relationship will be identical because what brought us together as friends will be completely different when it comes to experiences, ups/downs, memories and interactions.

 

Some of my closest friends are guys! I love them and don't play about them! God truly blessed me by allowing Andre and Ramone to be 2 huge parts of my life. I discuss EVERYTHING with them, even stuff they probably wish I'd keep to myself, lol! Time and time again, they have provided solace, laughter and advice. I appreciate my relationships with my girlfriends but NOBODY gets me like they do. Even when we are joking or they are getting on my nerves, I never have to question our friendship or their motives.

Ray

Dre & Jimmy

 

 With that being said, our friendships are platonic. We didn't come from the same womb but I love Dre, Ray, Jimmy and Jeff like brothers. Nothing more and nothing less. Are my friends handsome.... Yep! Should I be dating any of them.... Nope! Do we at times act inappropriately according to the standards of others... Yep! For some reason, people don't seem to understand that and I have to hear the following:

• Must be something wrong with you.
• Are you sure they aren't gay?
• Men and women can't truly be that close and not having or have had sex.
• Don't no man want a woman with all those guys around.
• You are forever out and partying with them. 
• You can't be friends with them once you get married. 
• I have guy friends but we never do the things y'all do. 
• Y'alls relationship seems inappropriate from the pics on fb and instagram. 

To all of the above concerns and questions, I have this to say... Maybe you can't be trusted to have male friends and would have sex with them but don't project what you would do onto me. Most of the people with something to say are married and for people who claim to not know whether to wind their butts or scratch their watches because managing a household is so hard but blissful, stop highlighting the fact that I am single. A part of me believes some wish they could trade with me and have their freedom back.

 

It's amazes me that when it comes to my life everyone is an expert. I tell people all the time, you being married or having children doesn't make you an expert. Maybe in your life it does because they're your husband/wife and they are your children but I'm good over here.

 

Today, I was venting to Ray and Dre and they told me "When it comes to love, sometimes you have to sacrifice friends. Not saying no longer be friends, but the amount of time spent and availability will change. Real friends aren't threatened or critical of that if they want to see u happy. When u find THE ONE, we'll gain a brother, WE aint goin no where!!!" <---- Gotta love them!! And anytime I tell my parents that I met someone, they ask "Have Dre and the rest met him?"

 

 

Some of my cousins

 

I come from a huge family and although their were plenty of females, I was usually with my brother, our male cousins and their friends. So the dynamic of being around guys or being close to them isn't one that perplexes me. In fact, women who I have let in and become close with have been some of the most destructive people in my life but that's a different blog. 

 

Jeff

The main reason I can't wait to meet the one is so everyone can SHUT UP.... put their top lip to their bottom lip, zip it, close their mouths.... GEESH! When I know, I'll let everyone else know. Until then I'm going to follow Ray's advice "Party your ass off. Travel your ass off. Take chances. Do it all. Enjoy it." Tomorrow isn't promised and I intend to live a full life and not have regrets about things I should have done! 

 

So the next time you're about to criticize my friendships think about all of the things people judge you about and how much it gets on your nerves! I'm sure people have opinions on your style, hair, children, parenting skills, marriage and the list can go on!