That's easy.... Becoming a wife and mother! God made me a woman for a reason. Not to say that every woman that is born and has lived should have been a mother or wife. Some people just aren't cut out for that task, just like going to college.
To a certain extent, our society spoon feeds this notion about a whirlwind romance and a fairytale wedding and perfect little baby or two, in a house with a picket fence. So, yes, that plays a part but more so than anything my biological clock is ticking... loudly! Could I go have a baby and just hope Mr. Right would come along and sweep me and the kid off of our feet like "Maid in Manhattan," sure, but the reality is, if the person I decide to lay down with, is not worthy to spend my forever with, why have a baby?
As much as what you see on tv refutes traditional values and will have you believing that you are crazy for having standards, praying and waiting to do it the right way (so people say), I just can't do it any other way. I'd be fooling myself to think I am really going to get artificially inseminated, like I said in a previous blog. I wanna meet a man and become great friends. Fall in and truly grow in love. To be overjoyed and overwhelmed to know we created something greater than both of us.
Only way I can explain it is, I could have 5 degrees, a closet full of clothes and shoes, a beautiful house decked out in ideas by (you guessed it) Pinterest, a nice car, banging hair and body but if I was to leave this earth and get to the pearly gates knowing I never became a wife or mother... I WILL HAVE A FULL BREAKDOWN. I'm talking crying, snotting, incoherent babbling, needing a sedative and someone to pick me up from the floor type of breakdown.
It probably sound selfish to some, who will offer that I mentor some youth (not the same). Adopt (could see myself consider that). 30 is the new 40 (Jay Z should be slapped for this foolery!!! I don't want to be 40+ pushing out no baby, mannnnnnn) Stop thinking about it and it will come (blank stare) and maybe it's just not in the cards for you (debates throwing that breakdown now).
I wanna know what it's like to experience my body changing to develop another life, that I helped create. I wanna know what it's like to feel the baby kick, have hiccups and just move around in general. I want to know what it's like to be overcome with love and joy at first sight. I want to know what labor and delivery are like (I might regret this one).
~sigh~ Patience... again, God is teaching me patience!
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